– The endearment of golden years can be blissful if we choose the path to be otherwise the road down-hill awaits the downtrodden which could be re-driven uphill instead.
My mom is 84 years of age and she has degenerated from an active and sociable mother and excellent housewife to someone who is now feeble and miserable and needs personal care and attention. Like most mothers to baby boomers, they have little or no education and usually are housewives who stayed home to take care of the children, while fathers are sole breadwinners.
I am convinced that each time when any real life dramas are being unfolded, there is always a lesson to learn from such event and it is with this intention that I wrote this story so that others may pick some good wisdom here and there and benefit from it. Most of what I have written was based upon my personal observation and experience from a young boy to now, a baby bloomer which span 60 years and my mom’s life story in most instances should not reflect the general scenario of others who are in similar situation. Each case history may not be identical.
My mother has been in and out of hospital for 4 times over the last 2 - 3 months and I personally believe that she is either into severe Alzheimer Disease or in Senile Dementia and I am convinced that even her Physician will not really know one illness from the other as their symptoms are generally the same unless an intensive medical test is done. It started from the onset of mild fits and this has affected her mobility. Who knows, it could also be Amnesia and hence to me Alzheimer, Senile Dementia and Amnesia are all diseases affecting the brain and causing mental disorder and such illnesses if allowed to deteriorate can be horrifying to any caregivers especially when patient are love ones or family members.
The same questions were uttered over and over again. It’s like an old broken record in play. Perhaps, she may not know what she is talking about as she suffers from memory loss. Patient with memory loss usually feels insecure and suffers from sense of uncertainty. It is hard for any caregiver to engage in the conversation with my mom without being given some sort of training on how to deal with patient with Alzheimer, Senile Dementia or Amnesia illnesses.
At times my mom could recognise a familiar face but on other occasion she could not recall the name. She keeps talking about unusual things and engaged into conversation with herself over some past stories with those whose names are no longer living today. Some stories are so embarrassing to hear, while a few reflected some sort of aggression and violent in nature. She laughed to herself, talks to herself and cries when her memory triggers a past sad event. She would groan and cry out loud to her mother, grandmother or husband for help from all whom have left this world. This could go on all night and day if she is not given medication to allow her to sleep. In some nights, the medication did not take effect and her voice could be heard from a distance in the still of the night.
Those who do not understand what it is like to suffer from Alzheimer, Senile Dementia or Amnesia would think that those behaving this way must be mad or insane. This is detrimental to the patients as they tend to be in denial when they are in their depressed state of mind. Nothing seems logical to those who suffers from Alzheimer, Senile Dementia or Amnesia as their grasp of thinking has deteriorated and out of self-control. In short, they are no longer in control of their mind and they do not know what they are talking about.
Only few people could be good caregivers to patients suffering from mental disorder as the task is not easy. It requires patience, love, humility and tender kindness. Most of all, caregivers must not take the emotional aspect of the patients unto themselves; otherwise they risk falling into depression themselves. Preferable, caregivers should be given some sort of brief medical training. At least to prepare them well in order to expect the emotional stress that they encounter and how to deal with it. There is also the aspect of knowing how to give patients with mental disorder their baths and then dressing them and from eating to attending to their unreasonable needs and demands. Believe me, this is never easy and will be very taxing to any untrained caregiver.
It would be prudent to say that my mom’s condition will only get worst and to expect an improvement in her state of mind would only mean to expect a miracle. She is too weak to walk and her mobility is confined to a wheelchair and from a brighter side, her immobility may be a blessing as it stops her from doing other mischief such as turning on the gas stove, putting unwanted articles in the microwave and switching it on and so forth. Such things commonly happen to patients with onset of dementia, Alzheimer and Amnesia. Some went outing on their own and do not know their way back home and reported lost. Patients with senile dementia, Alzheimer and Amnesia are always high in drama as their moods fluctuate from time to time like a pendulum and yet may not have any recollection of what they did or say.
My mother has been a pill popper for a long period of time. She needs medication from passing motion to diabetic, hypertension, insomnia, high blood pressure and other supplements. Long term intake of commercial drugs would no doubt pose its side-effects and complications. Friends have given advice that there are better alternative to commercial drugs and this is to take natural herbal medication as they derived from parts of plants that contained no chemicals. Although it can be argued that there is lacked of research and field studies done on traditional medicine but on the hindsight, there has been reported cases on cures of illnesses to those who have resorted to high dosage of vitamins, natural and herbal medications.
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