"The Abused Who Mused"

“The Abused Who Mused” – Never allow past bad memories to stifle your personal growth. Forgiving is strength. Forgiveness has its blissful merits.

I was abused as a young child. Born to a family of four siblings and elder sister to another youngest girl, while two other brothers are older than I am. Till today, I often wondered why I was the only one being abused by my mom, while the other three siblings were treated like princess and princes. Each time when I was abused the “Tales of Cinderella” frequently chilled through my spine.

Now that my mom has passed away, I could only speculate that it was during the period when I was conceived in her womb that my dad started his extra marital affairs and I became the scapegoat to my mom who took her frustrations on me from the day I was born. Yes, many may consider this as grossly unfair but this was her predicament when one tends to believe in traditional superstitious notion. As a young girl, I had observed that my mom has been a very superstititous and traditional lady who believed in cult practices and I am convinced that she may have consulted a Chinese Medium who implanted this wrong beliefs into her mind that my birth has brought a curse to the family and that my dad's infidelity has got to do with my birth.

Starting from a young age of six, I had to wash, clean, cook and did all house chores for my family. I was practicaly treated like a slave. Other house maids have better life than I had. Everything that went wrong at home was my fault. My mom wanted me to stay home and never wanted me to attend school but thanked God, my dad thought otherwise and said education was important for a child. How I wished I could stay at school much longer and not face the wrath of my mom's rage. Being away at school was like heaven to me and it was the only time I could stay away from my mom. Oh how terrified I was each day when the sound of the school bell rang to remind teachers and students that lesson for the day is over and time for everyone to leave.. I am convinced that I was the only student at school who dreaded to hear the sound of the last school bell.

As I walked slowly home from school, my mind wondered with fear and I cannot help but envied other school mates who were so lucky to return home happily to some hot meals prepared by their mom. As usual, from a distance, I could already see my mom waiting at the door for me and day after day, it was a norm to be greeted by an angry mom who scolded me with a loud voice for taking so long to walk home from school. Somehow, she would have her reason to rain the cane on me and as I walked through the door, the scourging had begun. I cried and ran to my room and she would chase after me with the cane in hand. The same drama would repeat itself day after day. The small quiet neighbourhood knew about my ordeal but nobody came to my rescue nor reported the matter to the authority. I guessed they do not wish to interfere with family squabbles.

Immediately after putting down my school bag, I had to prepare and cook the day's meals for the family. My mom would provide the list of house chores and thereafter she would then hop over to the neighbourhood for her afternoon game of majong. Although the stakes are not high but still when a family lives from hand to mouth, losing a few bucks would mean a lot for us. Taking time out away from home would also allow mom to socialize amongst friends. It was dreadful to face my mom when she returns home from her game of “Chinese Mahjong” and if on a bad day when she losses, she would take her frustration on me by canning me again. Although being victimized, mom was not to be blamed as being at home alone without the support of a husband could be too taxing for a wife especially when she suspected that her husband was unfaithful.

Dad's work usually took him away from home most of the time. Quite often he would be away at work for weeks and sometimes for couple of months. Most of the time, we will not know where he was unless he called home. It was woman's instinct to suspect that he was with another lady somewhere. Mom and dad used to have frequent heated arguments over his alleged marital affairs. He would then stay home for a while but just as things started to cool down, he was up to his usual tricks again. I guessed it was never easy for some people to change.

On several occasions, my mom threatened to file for divorce to nullify the marriage but the thought of how her four school-going children would endure life without their parents prevented her from taking further action. Like any maternal mother, the undying love for her children would always be their priority. Although being abused, I admired mom's perseverance and felt sad to watch her suffered in silence.

Dad is hot tempered too and at times when mom complaint about my faults, he would unleash his belt and used it to beat me up. Many times I was slashed like a slave and I felt so unloved that even at the tender age of seven, the thought of ending my life crossed my mind. One night, I kept a bottle of bleach in my room and wanted to drink it while the rest of my family were asleep but did not have the guts to do it. Perhaps, having attended school at a Catholic Convent, I was taught that suicide is mortal sin and thanked goodness the Catholic Nuns had inculcated this fear into me. However, the thought of running away from home swept through my mind time and again. Perhaps, constant prayers gave me hope and kept me alive.

Somehow, it was important that I must do my best to finish High School. The daily heaps of house chores and constant harassment and beatings from my parents and being in tears and sadness most of the time prevented me from concentrating fully on my studies. At the tender age of 6 to the teen of 18 years of age, I was constantly abused by my parents. For 12 years I endured in pain and agony but the solace of one particular Catholic Nun who often met me at the School Chapel kept me alive all these enduring years. Each day at school, I spent my recess time talking and praying with this Catholic Nun at the Chapel. I do not know why but somehow I felt that this Catholic Nun knew about my predicament and her love and kindness shown towards me gave me hope.

The thought of leaving home still lingered on my mind as I reached 18 years of age which was my last year at High School. I considered myself very lucky to finish High School and I knew that my mom will never send me for further studies while my sister and brothers were fortunate to be sent to the Universities to further their respective higher-education. I remembered my parents had to open a Food Stall to gain extra income to foot the bills for the further education of my other siblings. Besides being treated unfairly, I did help my parents to run the Food Stall without any resentment towards them.

I smartly choose Nursing as my career not because I loved the job but because I could leave home immediately to pursue the career and that trainee nurses are paid to learn the profession. Despite being treated unfairly by my parents, the absence away from home brought some fondness and love towards mom and dad. Whenever I had the opportunity or during National Holidays, I travelled home to visit my parents to maintain family bonding. Although physically unseen and unnoticed, I felt deep within my heart that love always existed between my parents and I and circumstances had forced my mom and dad to behave unjustly towards me. I always knew they were not directly to be blamed for their outburst of anger and frustrations.

Yes, I was abused, badly bruised at times and always hurt but never had I harboured any resentment or hatred towards my parents for their cruelty and unfairness towards me. It would be dishonest to deny that past hurt had not affected me. It did and it affected my marriage as I encountered marital problems with my husband early in marriage. I knew my past had haunted me and I must come to term with my past in order to be able to love and trust again unconditionally. I must truly forgive my parents and learn to let go of past hurt and fears, otherwise I may not be able to love and trust others wholesomely.

After taking care of my sick mom for almost 6 months, her illness took a turn for the worse. I was at her death bed at the hour of death and although mom was not able to speak, I managed to give her a warmth hug and asked for her forgiveness and as she nodded her head she breathed her last and returned to her Divine Creator. Although I was devastated over mom's death but I was very pleased that mother and daughter had reconciled. It was good to know that I had indeed been a filial daughter, after all.

My dad is now retired and stays with me. I am now singled and available again and I have a new job and I love and enjoy my work very much. I had come to term with my past and I am now ready to love again. These days, I pray a lot and attend church services regularly. My past is now behind me and I had forgiven myself and those whom I had offended. I socialized with some good trusted friends and I am now ready to start life anew.

The lesson I learned this far in life was that we must deal with our past or the past will come back to haunt our future. Embrace forgiveness and life moves on.

Alice In Wonder Depression

“ALICE IN WONDER DEPRESSION” – Stop Emotional Stress at its bud before it kills you. Stay away from addictive drugs. There is always a better way.

As soon as Alice was born, she was given away for adoption to a childless couple who were already in their mid forties. Alice was the youngest of seven other siblings. Her dad died a couple of months before she was born. Her biological mother, a housewife, was exhausted by her misery and grief over her husband’s sudden death, and at that point in time, she thought it would be the best interest for Alice to be given away for adoption. It was unknown if Alice was given away for a “price” but her biological mother was warned never to make any contact with this child.

With Alice still in her womb, her biological mother must have suffered great emotional stress from grief, fear and uncertainty of her husband’s sudden death. According to Deepak Chopra, he shared that, “Stress activates the unborn child’s endocrine system and influences foetal brain development”. Perhaps, there could be a linked to the reasons why children born to stressful mothers become hyperactive, fearful, sickly and prone to emotional trauma. Most gynaecologists will agree that in the sixth month of pregnancy, as the child develops physically, the baby could already feel, hear, see and taste. If this is so, then the good and bad feelings of the mother will also affect the child in her womb.

Alice is now 37 years of age, still single and reported to be in depression. The psychiatrist has put her on depressant drugs. Any emotional or hurtful event could trigger her relapse and that she could go in and out of depression between weeks. It started off in her late thirties as emotional stress and sleep disorder and she needed antidepressant for insomnia.

When Alice grown out of her teens, there was little or no animosity shown at time when her parents unveiled the secret of her adoption, although she told them that one day she would like to meet her biological mother and would like to ask why she gave her up for adoption. Her other wish was to have the opportunity to meet some of her siblings. Although such wishes were desired, no serious attempt was made to arrange any personal contact. Being the only child, she was spoilt by her adopted parents. She practically had her ways as a young child as her adopted parents loved her very much. As a child over showered with love, she grew up being stubborn, self-centred, egoistic, selfish, proud and snobbish.

The cause of Alice’s depression is really unknown although she claimed that it was due to several issues. As a young girl in her teens, she felled in love with a High School student and who broke up the relationship when he left to pursue his career in another country. She was upset and suffered in silence for over 10 years for this young boy. Later when Alice learnt that he got married, she was upset and felt even more depressed.

On a rebound, Alice met another man and immediately went intimate with him and underwent two abortions within a short span of only six months and the guilt and shame arising from her staunch Catholic background, caused her deeper into depression. The worst scenario was that Alice did not love this man. Soon thereafter, she was intimately involved with a man who cheated her financially. Her depression deepens further and she has to resign from her good job which she loved so much. She went into business but failed although she did not give the MLM business time to materialise.

Alice became even more depressed and shut herself from the outside world. She was now addicted to anti-depressants. When she could not come to term with herself, Alice frequently took overdose of anti-depressants. She even had a bad fall at the shower when she felt giddy and groggy from the side-effects of such overdose. Her misfortunes compounded deeper when her adopted mother passed away after a short illness and from old age. She claimed that it was her late mother who spiritually gave her the inner strength and ability to live independently and now that she has passed on, Alice felt lonely and loss. She now stays on her own in a nice and cosy apartment outside the city.

She soon came to her senses and realized that her past cannot be changed and that she must try to forgive and forget past hurts and start life anew. She kept away from any relationship involvement for almost 3 years and thought after 3 years, she is now ready for one. She met a guy from a Church Camp who has been a widower for 8 years when his wife succumbed to cancer at a young age of 40.

However, Alice failed to realise that in any relationship, the journey will have its roller coaster ride of ups and down and the situation is even more volatile when romance begins in later part of life between mid forties and fifties. This is because the responsibilities and obligations of life were much greater at this age than those young boys and girls starting off their puppy love.

The mistake that Alice made was that she did not revealed to John about her medical situation and that she was still on anti-depressants. When Alice had a relapse, they had a quarrel when John found out that for the first time that she suffered from depression and he became fearful and disappointed. The constant quarrels and disagreements that erupted worsen Alice’s conditions. Although, John was fearful and angry and over reacted to Alice’s condition, he should not be blamed for burst of anger as when people are fearful, they usually over-react. John went through 5 years of torment himself and witnessed how his wife suffered from cancer and the thought of facing another fearful event in life frightened him. John reiterated that had Alice warned him of her situation, he would have like her to be healed of her depression first before getting involved with the relationship.

In view of Alice’s persistent illness, it was hard on the part of John to believe that Alice had genuinely fallen in love with him or was she clinging on to him because she was lost, lonely and depressed. John knew very little about clinical depression. It was his first encounter with someone who is suffering from depression.

John, being kind and caring person wanted to help Alice come out of depression and he began researching on the illness. He found out that “Emotional Freedom Technique” In short, it is known as “EFT” founded by Gary Craig and has over 80% success rate and has helped many people come out of depression. EFT is a fairly new and powerful self-help therapy that involves mind and emotions with acupuncture without the needles.

In short, EFT is an emotional version of acupuncture where certain meridian points are stimulated by tapping with our fingertips and, since emotional stress can contribute to pain, disease and physical ailments and EFT Tapping Therapy provides astonishing results.

However, Alice having come from a staunch Catholic background does not quite believe in EFT Tapping and she would rather depend upon the power of pray than EFT Tapping. It seems that according to the experts’ one need not necessarily belief in EFT Tapping in order for it to work.

Robert Smith, one of America’s leading experts on stress, spirituality, and healing reiterated that many people tend to think wrongly that EFT Tapping Therapy is linked to some sort of religious practice but he explained that EFT Tapping Method has no religious implication and as matter of fact some biblical teachings could possibly be linked to emotional freedom.

John is adamant that depression could be healed with “Emotional Freedom Technique” using the “Tapping Method” and stay away from addictive drugs. This is a much better way to stop emotional stress at its bud.

Second Bite at the Red Cherry”

“Second Bite at the Red Cherry” – The heart will always yearn for love and companionship but though red rosy cherries always taste sweeter, taking another bite at middle-age often seems to taste bitter than sweet.

There may be many lonely hearts out there in the cold but plunging blindly into second relationship can be tormenting for some, while many others may have found the warmth of love into their heart second time around.

Like a butterfly, love can also be elusive too, so, never chase after love just to fill the vacuum of loneliness. Yes, it is dreadful to be lonely and to be without trusted companionship to share life experiences with but patience pays. Love bites and the venom that kills could cause great emotional pain and regrets. So, take one step at a time and try not to fall head over heel second time around. It is true that second time around will always be more complicated than the first and until dust has settled and the vision clearer, better stay in chaste rather than regret in haste.

I became single again when I lost my wife to cancer. The immediate task was to love and care for the kids and be with them through High School. For 5 years, I remained single and available but unattached. Being a single parent, priority was to make sure that the young kids felt loved and not to worsen their grief over the loss of their mom. I had managed to deal with my own grief and let it go of any past hurt after 2 years. It was not easy to deal with the loss but life must carry-on and the ability to talk about the loss without any emotional hurt was proof that grief is over and done with and time to move-on.

At this point in time, it was still too premature to search for love as it would have been imprudent not to consider the sensitiveness of my children who may not understand the circumstances of life and may be resentful over the arrival of a third party as this would mean another rivalry to love. So love has to wait until the kids are more matured and preparing them well to accept the situation will be critical. After 5 years, the kids eventually left High School and went into college and by this time, they would have understood all about the need to love and be loved and to have friends and companionship.

It is often the case that when close friends know that you are single-again and available at middle-age, their tendency is to match-make you with someone they knew who is also single and available. It was through such introduction that I was matched to one lady friend from off-shore. The bright side was that the match-maker knew the character of this lady friend and surely her recommendation must be respected. I reluctantly started communicating with this lady from off-shore through email and no sooner did we realised that 3 months passed-by, oh so quickly and writing was on the wall that it was time to meet each other and put a face to our names. Both seemed eager to meet and a rendezvous was arranged.

Although we communicated frequently, there was no previous exchange of photograph between us and our identity remained unknown till this day. While on the coach I began to imagine how she would look like and what will be the event that she has arranged for our first meeting. As the coach pulled over to enable passengers to descend I looked frantically around to identify my host who promised to wait for my arrival at destination.

I thought I recognised her instantly but felt rather apprehensive as I continued to observe her movements from a distance. By her body language, surely she was waiting for someone judging by the way she was looking around intensively at every passenger that descended. At last, I picked up courage and made the approach and asked if she was waiting for so and so. Bingo, it was right first time. To break the ice, I asked if it would be okay with her if we share a meal together since it was lunch time when the coach pulled in. It was indeed a sumptuous lunch that we shared and the laughter and the exchange of conversation that went along with it was very exciting indeed. Both were at ease with each other and strangers from the next table may think that we were like old friends meeting again after a long absence.

It was now time to drop me off at the hotel in the city which was about an hour’s drive from where we were. As I checked-in at hotel reception, she stood besides me helping me with one baggage. I took the room key and headed for the hotel lift. As I closed the door behind me, I unpacked and handed her the gift I brought along with me. We hugged each other and soon our lips met. The energy that transpired was enough to reignite the heart that had remained frozen in darkness for 5 years. I guess she hungers for love too after separating from her husband for several years.

Unfortunately, the blissful beginning did not last long as the toil of distance relationship was hard felt after only 12 months and the resentment that harboured inside manifested itself when the journey went through some humps and bumps and took some hard knocks. We began to see less of each other since at each encounter the meeting would usually be stormy. I wondered if it was indeed a mistake to have gone to bed when we first met or was it normal to do so. Throughout the duration of our courtship, she has never uttered the words “I love you” and I wondered if she still carried old baggages around.

Soon thereafter, I was back and single again but definitely not perturbed. It was an experience that had enriched me with a better understanding on relationships at my next encounter. Men are known to be hunters and will continue their hunt for companionship. There is nothing wrong with failed relationships. Treat each encounter as a learning lesson to become better prepared for the next love that comes around.

My next hunting ground was on the internet and soon made contact with someone inter-state but within the same country. Her marriage had broken down and legally divorced. For several days, she poured her past sorrows and hurt and I had to be a good listener. After 6 months of correspondence, I thought it was time to meet her face to face and to get to know each other better. From her conversation, it was easy to notice that she was still bleeding from her failed marriage and yet to let go of past hurt. She blamed God for her misfortunes in life. Emotional anger and hatred towards her ex. husband and lady partner were still visible within her.

From the beginning, I knew my journey with her will be brief as I came into her life just for a season to meet her needs that she had expressed and to take her emotional stress away and to bring laughter and joy back into her life. As expected, the ugly truth surfaced and the differences in Christian denomination become a major issue in our relationship. This was the sign I predicted and it signalled the time to leave the relationship and move-on.

They say things happen for a reason and that there is no such thing as coincidental. How true this is as being single yet again, I had time to ponder and conduct some research work. I learnt about emotional stress and mind control and I am now better equipped in dealing with relationship breakups and heartaches. If I have not been given the break, I would be preoccupied and time would not have been available to learn about emotional stress and mind power.

As observed, plunging into second relationship is not so rosy and sweet as the red rosy cherry appears to be but enjoy the ride and never give up too easily. People will continue to come in and out of your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime and when you know the right one that comes along, you will somehow know what to do for that person.

Cancer - Embrace the Outcome

Cancer – “Embrace the Outcome” – is a positive way of keeping a clear mind to overcome the fear and trauma of the Big “C” at first encounter.

If I do face the situation again, I would be better informed of the ill-effects the second time around. When my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer 10 years ago, we felt helpless and deeply devastated when the surgeon revealed the results of her breast-biopsy. As the surgeon broke the bad news calmly to us, my wife and I felt as if she had been given the verdict of a life-sentence by a “judge”. As the doctor gave us a week to decide over a surgery, we both sobbed openly on our drive home.

We only knew that cancer was all about a “deathlike illness” and not curable. We were fearful, scared and hopelessness came over us. That year 1996, the internet was dialled-up analogue system and although it was slow to download files, we managed to do some research on breast-cancer. She has to decide if she preferred Mastectomy or Lumpectomy. She was endowed with fuller breasts and like all women, their breasts are their pride. I knew she would hate to lose one of her breast, so she opted out for lumpectomy instead.

After surgery, she underwent radiation and chemotherapy. The side-effects of these treatments made her very weak and sick. She did not eat well and could not sleep. After 24 months, there was hope that she was in remission. However, she was born with Thalassemia Minor which is a genetic blood disorder and perhaps this might have weakened her immune system to fight aggressive cancer cells.

Six months later, she relapsed and cancer-cells were discovered to have spread to other areas of her lymph nodes including the other breast. She was too weak to undergo another surgery and the oncologist suggested more severe radiation and chemotherapy treatments to reduce the tumours. It was an agony to watch her deteriorating away with the illness. She finally succumbed to breast-cancer in the year 2001 after battling the illness for almost 5 years.

The lesson learnt here is that one should never panic if biopsy showed positive cancer-cells in breast tissues. Family members or loved ones must try to find out more information on breast cancer. With the advent of the internet, medical information could easily be researched. Ask for second opinion from doctors and medical experts. Weigh the options. Do what is best for the patient. Perhaps mastectomy may be preferred if cancer-cells and tumours could be contained and removed to avoid spreading to other areas of the organ.

Maintain positive attitude at all times. Family and loved ones must show love and care to the patient. This is the time the patient must be given care and love by family members. Loved ones must make extra effort to accompany patient on her visits to the Oncologist. Support by family members for the cancer patient is important and critical to show that they are not alone in their fight against cancer.

A patient stricken with breast-cancer or any other types of cancer can be compared to a drowning person who would hang-on to any floating straw for survival. The situation is made worst especially when they lacked knowledge in dealing with the problem. Placed in that sort of trauma, they tend to listen to anyone who claims to have a cure. This is because in their situation they are in dire-straits and desperate. From traditional medicine to concoctions and religious beliefs, they would want to try everything to find a cure and in the end, the patient becomes even more confused when jumping from hope to hope bears no results.

It is true to some extend that prolonged stress is the root-cause of most grave illnesses. If biopsy proof positive, always try to take a second opinion with another surgeon. Then, try not to panic and try to find out more about the illness from the doctor and from other experts or by doing intensive research on the internet. Always remember to stay positive and eliminate all fears. This will keep stress at bay.

If fear and stress persists, as they will for some reasons, try to use Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) Tapping to release stress. It has been said that EFT Tapping have known to ease the pain of some cancer patients especially nausea and other side-effects of chemotherapy. There are known cases of cancer patients in remission on EFT Tapping. Get on your internet and go to Google YouTube and type “EFT + Cancer Cures” and you could listen to many Case Studies. There is nothing to lose and everything to gain by regularly doing EFT Tapping for few minutes each day.

I wished I had discovered EFT Tapping when my wife dictated breast-cancer 10 years ago. My earlier research over the internet failed to discover Gary Craig’s works on EFT Tapping and I believe his discoveries were only published recently. I would recommend EFT Tapping to anyone who is suffering from terminal illnesses especially cancer. Learn the EFT Tapping technique from http://www.eft-help.com/details/additionaltechniques.htm and download free copy of the EFT Manual now.

In conclusion, embrace the outcome if you are diagnosed with cancer do not fear and panic like my wife and I did. There is hope. The more you discover about your illness, the better you could face the situation and the future. Together, we could fight cancer.

Growing Old in Grace or Dis-Grace

“Growing Old in Grace or Dis-Grace”

– The endearment of golden years can be blissful if we choose the path to be otherwise the road down-hill awaits the downtrodden which could be re-driven uphill instead.

My mom is 84 years of age and she has degenerated from an active and sociable mother and excellent housewife to someone who is now feeble and miserable and needs personal care and attention. Like most mothers to baby boomers, they have little or no education and usually are housewives who stayed home to take care of the children, while fathers are sole breadwinners.

I am convinced that each time when any real life dramas are being unfolded, there is always a lesson to learn from such event and it is with this intention that I wrote this story so that others may pick some good wisdom here and there and benefit from it. Most of what I have written was based upon my personal observation and experience from a young boy to now, a baby bloomer which span 60 years and my mom’s life story in most instances should not reflect the general scenario of others who are in similar situation. Each case history may not be identical.

My mother has been in and out of hospital for 4 times over the last 2 - 3 months and I personally believe that she is either into severe Alzheimer Disease or in Senile Dementia and I am convinced that even her Physician will not really know one illness from the other as their symptoms are generally the same unless an intensive medical test is done. It started from the onset of mild fits and this has affected her mobility. Who knows, it could also be Amnesia and hence to me Alzheimer, Senile Dementia and Amnesia are all diseases affecting the brain and causing mental disorder and such illnesses if allowed to deteriorate can be horrifying to any caregivers especially when patient are love ones or family members.

The same questions were uttered over and over again. It’s like an old broken record in play. Perhaps, she may not know what she is talking about as she suffers from memory loss. Patient with memory loss usually feels insecure and suffers from sense of uncertainty. It is hard for any caregiver to engage in the conversation with my mom without being given some sort of training on how to deal with patient with Alzheimer, Senile Dementia or Amnesia illnesses.

At times my mom could recognise a familiar face but on other occasion she could not recall the name. She keeps talking about unusual things and engaged into conversation with herself over some past stories with those whose names are no longer living today. Some stories are so embarrassing to hear, while a few reflected some sort of aggression and violent in nature. She laughed to herself, talks to herself and cries when her memory triggers a past sad event. She would groan and cry out loud to her mother, grandmother or husband for help from all whom have left this world. This could go on all night and day if she is not given medication to allow her to sleep. In some nights, the medication did not take effect and her voice could be heard from a distance in the still of the night.

Those who do not understand what it is like to suffer from Alzheimer, Senile Dementia or Amnesia would think that those behaving this way must be mad or insane. This is detrimental to the patients as they tend to be in denial when they are in their depressed state of mind. Nothing seems logical to those who suffers from Alzheimer, Senile Dementia or Amnesia as their grasp of thinking has deteriorated and out of self-control. In short, they are no longer in control of their mind and they do not know what they are talking about.

Only few people could be good caregivers to patients suffering from mental disorder as the task is not easy. It requires patience, love, humility and tender kindness. Most of all, caregivers must not take the emotional aspect of the patients unto themselves; otherwise they risk falling into depression themselves. Preferable, caregivers should be given some sort of brief medical training. At least to prepare them well in order to expect the emotional stress that they encounter and how to deal with it. There is also the aspect of knowing how to give patients with mental disorder their baths and then dressing them and from eating to attending to their unreasonable needs and demands. Believe me, this is never easy and will be very taxing to any untrained caregiver.

It would be prudent to say that my mom’s condition will only get worst and to expect an improvement in her state of mind would only mean to expect a miracle. She is too weak to walk and her mobility is confined to a wheelchair and from a brighter side, her immobility may be a blessing as it stops her from doing other mischief such as turning on the gas stove, putting unwanted articles in the microwave and switching it on and so forth. Such things commonly happen to patients with onset of dementia, Alzheimer and Amnesia. Some went outing on their own and do not know their way back home and reported lost. Patients with senile dementia, Alzheimer and Amnesia are always high in drama as their moods fluctuate from time to time like a pendulum and yet may not have any recollection of what they did or say.

My mother has been a pill popper for a long period of time. She needs medication from passing motion to diabetic, hypertension, insomnia, high blood pressure and other supplements. Long term intake of commercial drugs would no doubt pose its side-effects and complications. Friends have given advice that there are better alternative to commercial drugs and this is to take natural herbal medication as they derived from parts of plants that contained no chemicals. Although it can be argued that there is lacked of research and field studies done on traditional medicine but on the hindsight, there has been reported cases on cures of illnesses to those who have resorted to high dosage of vitamins, natural and herbal medications.